Friday, December 21, 2007

A Condiment for the Condemned

The next time you go to the movies, go to the concession counter and you will probably see a few giant vats of yellow goop (butter?) with an automatic stirrer hypnotically rotating inside. Clearly, they want us to buy lots of popcorn. A marketing gimmick that is tapping into our genetic code by scratching our itch to have massive coronary disease at some time in the future.

Then look closely at the label on the side of the vat - "Artificial Imitation Butter Flavoring". Huh? Which is it, 1) Butter Flavoring, 2) Imitation Butter Flavoring or 3) Artificial Imitation Butter Flavoring? Or put more accurately, 1) Fake Butter, 2) Fake, Fake Butter or 3) Fake, Fake, Fake Butter. I think that it just might be safe to say that the consumption of Real Actual Genuine Butter will not be taking place during the viewing of the Feature Presentation (or the commercials). Perhaps the synthetic golden honey was the brainchild of some Bio-chemistry stuedent working on his Masters Thesis. The bi-product of sleep depravation and a bad case of the munchies.

That stuff must have a profit margin of 3 million percent. So why IS the popcorn so expensive. Popcorn costs less than the goop and only slightly more than the grass clippings in my yard. Then I am brought back to reality. We are subsidizing George Clooney's latest villa in the south of France. And, the Ivy League tuitions for the children of just a few cardiologists.

So, the next time you go to the movies, get the "jumbo womper stomper" bucket of popcorn with "extra" yellow stuff - lots in the middle and more on top. After all, there are unlimited free refills. Oh, and don't for get to put on a pound or two of salt. Gently tap and shake and then add more. Now turn off those cell phones please! Sit back and let the clogging - I mean the show - begin!

Just something to ponder ;)

My Zimbio

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